If there was ever a time in the past year that I wanted to punch the living daylights out of diabetes last night was it. If there was ever a time I wanted to yell, "YOU DUMB STUPID IDIOTIC DISEASE!!!!", last night was it. O.K....who am I fooling....right now is it!!!
I usually know myself pretty well, and I must say that I often get angry because I can't figure something out. Diabetes is a disease where we often can't figure out what is going on..... Or at least right now we can't. Our eyes aren't trained to figure out why our son will go from the 130's to the 500's in a matter of 2 hours for no apparent reason.
Last night I was tired. It's been a long weekend. Fun, fulfilling weekend, but tiring weekend. I just wanted to go to bed, no worries. J.J. had a higher fat meal.....no big deal, right? We saw his numbers come down pretty well. J.J. was also rough housing with his sister and cousin......and running....man was he running. For sure if anything we're treating a low, not a high!! But NO, DUMB STUPID IDIOTIC DIABETES decides to give us a high.
We spotted it at 480! My eyes do a double take. NO WAY!! YES... WAY!! I'm for sure thinking adrenaline high. But hubby reminds me of his high fat meal. But I come back with, "Yeah, but you've been in the basement and haven't seen him running a marathon up here. There's no way he could be this high....unless adrenaline kicked in."
Well, at that point we dose a unit to give us a feel for what we are dealing with. An hour later.....542!!!
So now I'm looking at dosing with a syringe.....changing a site....maybe it came out with the rough housing.....BUT IT WAS FINE....no kinks, no nothing. UGH....I can't figure this out.....why is he rising? Now, I'm UP!! I'm UP....my mind is UP. UP.....when, by golly, I WANT TO GO TO BED!! We have a long travel day ahead of us.......
DUMB STUPID IDIOTIC DISEASE!!!
At 2:15 when I passed the meter duty to hubby J.J. had made it to 298......but still taking such a long time to come down......and we were still wondering when all that extra insulin would make him come crashing to earth.
Well......so far it hasn't. He only tweaked into the 100's by making it to 197 at 7 am. But here it is 8:30 am and he's 359!!! So now I'm wondering what in the world are we dealing with? Is he getting sick? It's apparent the new site is giving him some insulin to bring him down to 197. I last dosed him at 1:15 am with the pump, but why jump so high in an hour and a half with no carbs, no nothing? Is his pancreas on it's last "Hurrah", which would mean his basals need major tweaking?
UGH!!!
DUMB STUPID IDIOTIC DISEASE!!!
On top of all of it I'm dealing with one crushed little boy, who instead of having grandma's cinnamon rolls this morning, is stuck with scrambled eggs and diet pop.
DUMB STUPID IDIOTIC DISEASE!!!
I know, I know.......it doesn't help to get mad......but......does crying?
DUMB STUPID IDIOTIC DIABETES!!
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3 comments:
I hear you Lynnea! Loud and clear!
Oh Lynnea ((((big hug)))). I've so been there and will be again I'm sure.
And, if crying helped, Riley would be cured by now. Crying can be good for the soul though.
You'll be in my prayers.
Oh man! You are doing everything right! You are all over this disease to the best of your ability, I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. I have felt this despair many times as well over the last few years. You put it into words perfectly! Keep on blogging out those frustrations!
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