I'm amazed.....

I'm in shock is more like it.......here's the scoop.......

I came home today to a message from the head CDE at the clinic wanting to discuss with me the "pump situation", that she had final word from our endo, etc. I instantly got sick to my stomach. My emotions are completely frayed at this point. I just didn't think I could call her back. I wasn't ready to ask the right probing questions, figure out how to be assertive, get what we needed for J.J. etc.

I called hubby.

Voice mail: "Uh, hon, the clinic called. They want to discuss the "pump situation". I'm just not up for this will you call her back? Her number is........"

A half hour later (after jotting down a few notes so I wouldn't lose my brain) I call clinic.

Voice mail: "Yes, this is Lynnea _____calling in regards to J.J._______ and the "pump situation". I'll be home all afternoon if you'd like to give us a call back. Our number is_____"

A half hour later hubby calls me: "You left a voice mail, but I didn't get to listen to it, did you need something?"

I tell him the situation and how I'm really an emotional basket case and shouldn't be trying to talk to anyone about this today, but I just had to call her back. He said he would call so he could talk to her instead of me.

Hubby calls clinic.

Hubby gets voice mail!!!

Hubby comes home......no call from clinic yet.

Hubby leaves to get pizza.....(we have last minute out of town guests.)

Phone rings.

It's the clinic.......I have to take the call. Where's hubby? Getting pizza.......!!!!

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is ______ from Children's. I'm calling to let you know that after Dr. _____ consulted with her colleagues and risk management we have come to the consensus that this, being such a unique situation , but not an unreasonable request.....we totally understand the request......we have concluded that you may use the donated pump for J.J.........."

A lot was said after the verdict was handed down, but I seemed to be in a little mini shock. I listened and I remember the conversation, but I'm not sure I was all there!!!

I think she went on to talk about how this situation is just like others who begin pumping......the risk is just the same as anyone may encounter when using an insulin pump. There are malfunctions in electronics many times with pumps, but the danger to the individual is kept in check by the blood glucose monitoring etc., not so much by if the pump is working or not. If the pump is a dud or malfunctions we'll go back to shots......and go from there. Just like any other person on a pump. So this situation isn't necessarily a greater risk.

She said she would send in a prescription to Medtronic for the pump supplies. Medtronic would be calling us to get our insurance information. Then when we get the supplies we can call to schedule an appointment for pump start!!

YIKES!!

Let me say that again:

YIKES!!!!!

Believe me I'm thankful.....I just didn't think they would approve the pump!!! Now I'm just wondering if we are really ready for this. Yeah, the past week has been making us wish we had the pump with the crazy nighttime numbers and all the events where there's a lot of random eating going on, but to actually start. I must say I'm slightly unsure of the whole thing.

As cruddy as MDI is for us right now, it's familiar. It's what we know. To start with something new again.......I don't think I have it in me right now. But I suppose all the paperwork, scheduling, etc.....it could be a month before we actually start. We are told we need at least a good month to dedicate to this pump start. There is a lot to learn......a lot can go wrong......it's like starting over again!!! STARTING OVER AGAIN.......starting over again......starting over again.....not again!!!!!