Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Downer Day.....

I probably should just go to bed and wake up tomorrow with a brand new start!! Today was a downer emotionally. So many things going on. About a month ago I was having one such downer day on a Sunday of all days. A friend from church noticed and I just said " I wish time would stop long enough for me to figure this thing out." I do wish all the other plates in my life would magically keep spinning long enough for me to figure out how to add this one.

Life Expectancy Question......
I notice my downer days come when a different "complication" from diabetes is revealed to me. I am purposefully only gathering bits of information here and there to guard my heart. So each new bit of heartbreaking news I hear about diabetes I have to learn to release. The past day or so it's been the life expectancy of a person with diabetes. How long DO they live? How does it compare with say "normal" life expectancies? I haven't found much that included actual numbers.....like say a person lives X number of years on average from the time they are diagnosed.

I suppose the encouragement in this life expectancy question is that J.J. will live much longer than he would have 100 years ago!! I began reading "The Discovery of Insulin" by Michael Bliss. Having a natural love of science and history the combination of the two is intriguing. The stories in there are heart wrenching. The life expectancy of a child diagnosed with diabetes was ONE year!!! ONE YEAR!!! Most died right away from the ketoacidosis. I'll share more as I read more...but all in all I must be encouraged that I have J.J. with me today.

Another encouragement is that I believe the day of J.J.'s death is already determined.....whether his lifespan is long or short......(See Psalm 139:16).....and really what is most important isn't his physical life, but spiritual.(More can be said on this subject, but I'll leave it here for now.)

A Call is Made.....
This morning I sat down to analyze J.J.'s numbers. I ended up calling our nurse educator to see if we are totally messing up. J.J.'s average seems high.... and exercise---don't get me started.....but if we correct for the highs it drives him into a low..... talk about going INSANE!!!

When the N.E. returned my call she gave me less than a minute and said "I'm heading out the door, I see I won't have time to go over this with you. Why don't you send me your numbers and I'll call you back tomorrow after I've reviewed them." Ummm.....gee why did you call me back then? I'm being really sarcastic I know.....but I can't just send in numbers.....I have a boat load of explaining to do with all of them.....and I've tested 31 times in the past 3 days!!!!

I just have this feeling I'm going to be "chewed out" by her....(she's really nice about it...but even her gentle corrections feel awful when we are really trying so hard.).....so I don't want to send her the numbers.....but even as I type this I am preparing my log sheets with explanation notes so my hubby can make pdf files for easy e-mailing!! I suppose I'll send them and wait for the dreaded analysis.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day......wait....the N.E. is calling me back tomorrow...strike that!! Maybe FRIDAY will be a better day!!!

2 comments:

kkonmymind said...

(((hugs))) to you. I have worried about the life expectancy issue, too. But, one uncle has been T1 for 46 years, my grandfather for 44, another uncle for 43, my mom and another aunt for 38, and another aunt for 33. They are all wonderfully healthy and happy, and they have been such an inspiration to me. I will keep you, JJ, and your family in my prayers. Good luck with the N.E. :)

Donna said...

Lynnea - I was diagnosed over 37 years ago. Per God's will, I haven't had any complications. It can be done. But you're right - God knows how many days each of us will have on this earth. Another thing that's difficult to not worry about, I know. But I know you have faith that God will take care of JJ.

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