I know it's been a while since I've written. Such is a blogger's life. I haven't had much to write about. Although.....I could write about the MANY, MANY, MANY lows we've been having lately.....like 30's and 40's!! But you've heard about all that before. I could write about the heart attack at the pharmacy when the guy tells me that my insurance will only approve 100 test strips!! NOT THAT AGAIN!!! Yes, we have to go through the approval process YEARLY!!! NO... I will not bore you with the same-O.....same-O.
Tonight I'll just mention a couple of heart tugs that have happened recently.
The first one was when J.J. was pretending to be blind. I know I used to do it a lot when I was a kid. Tie something around my eyes and see if I could maneuver around the furniture or "catch" my parents. Sometimes I just squinted really hard....but was really peeking. It was a fun thing to do.....and it was fun for J.J. as well. I smiled on the outside as I watched him trying to climb the stairs.
"Look at me, Mama!! I can't see. I'm BLIND."
Oh... I may have been smiling, but there was that heart tug....that pull on my heart....NO...that 50 lb weight being thrown on my heart.
I said in my head:
"Please, baby, don't say things like that. You have no idea how BLINDNESS could be a reality in your life. I will do everything I can to prevent it, but.....Oh please God spare him....ah, but...Your will be done."
The second one was during nightly devotions. We were talking about "good deeds".(1Peter 2:12) Jason asked J.J.:
"What are some good deeds your parents have done for you?"
Do you know what J.J.'s very first reply was?
"You guys dose me."
NOT.....you guys read books to me, build lego sets with me, play games with me, go on bike rides with me, etc. In fact none of that came up....it all had to do with dosing him, feeding him, taking care of his diabetes!!!
That tugged at my heart. I'm thankful he recognizes that we "manage" his diabetes for him....but I wish he didn't have to have that as his answer......let alone his VERY FIRST answer!!
I'm sure there will be many more heart tugs along this journey.....but that's what being a MOM is all about.....caring!!