This morning I was reading in Jerry Bridge's book, "Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate" a chapter on anxiety and frustration. It was talking about how anxiety is really a "lack of acceptance of God's providence in our lives". He used the example of trying to make connecting flights, and possibly missing them altogether and not arriving at a certain destination. This is the paragraph that stuck out to me:
"So my agenda is to arrive at my destination city on time and get comfortably settled before I am to speak. What if God's agenda is different? What if God's agenda is for me to be late for that meeting, or miss it altogether? Will I succumb to the temptation of anxiety and fret and fume, or will I believe that God is in sovereign control of my travel and accept His agenda, whatever that may be? As I have struggled with anxiety in this area of my life. I have come to the conclusion that my anxiety is triggered not so much by a distrust in God as by my unwillingness to submit to and cheerfully accept His agenda for me"
Fast forward a couple of hours ..my oldest daughter and I had dental appointments in a city an hour away. We arrive and give the receptionist our names. She kind of gets this horrified look on her face, and asks me when I scheduled the appointment. She then explains that there was a computer problem and they lost all the data that was entered in 2008, and that they didn't have space for us today. Now, this situation had the potential to make me really, really frustrated .to drive all that way, have Jason take the day off work to watch J.J. etc but I wasn't I felt really sick about Jason taking the day off work, and now he'll have to take another day .but other than that it wasn't a big deal. But it could've gotten ugly .I could've gotten really angry and made a bad situation worse. Instead Jess and I had a lovely day "in the city" .doing all the girly things we like to do together and getting some much needed shopping done ..it was a day I needed to spend with her not the dentist!! Today it was evident that His agenda was different than my agenda!!!
This incident made me think of God's agenda in not just the minute details of our lives, but the "big" details. Today's incident was a "minor frustration". But what about the bigger anxiety producing situation in our lives right now ..the BIG "D" .diabetes. Can I accept diabetes as His agenda for J.J.? . for us? Oh, I know it won't be the "easy life", it will have it's frustrations, just like today .spending the extra money to drive all that way, Jason taking the day off .but we made the best of it. And that's what we'll do with the BIG D .make the best of it accept it as God's agenda for our lives, and trust Him with every aspect of it.