As J.J. and I walked through the corridor from the clinic to the parking garage it all began to sink in. Her words.... SHOT right THROUGH my HEART. As my mind said those words the Bon Jovi song came popping in as well.....
A shot through the heart
And you're to blame, Darling,
You give love a bad name..
As I sang the song (not out loud!!) the next line hit me. Yes, that's what she was saying.....YOU'RE TO BLAME!!!! She was trying to get to the bottom of J.J.'s ever rising, worse than it's been since his diagnosis A1C. She asked if we dose before or after meals. Then it dawned on me. I had been working on getting J.J. to come find me after he ate so I could dose him. As I explained that to her she said....."It's not his fault. Where are YOU when he eats?" OUCH....that hurt!! We talked a bit more, but in essence she was saying it's our fault and we need to do something about it. Just a friendly reminder that 95% of diabetes care is placed on the parents' shoulders!!
Then the last line of the song began to sink in....YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME....yes, I do...thank you very much. I now see my form crushed by the weight of a semi being peeled off the parking garage floor....thin as a piece of paper. I have no excuse. His care...his diabetes care... is our responsibility....well, mainly mine since I'm here 24/7/365. But I'm one to take on a challenge....to figure out where we need to improve and forge ahead......
....after I have a good cry !!
(actually I'm trying not to cry....it always gives me a sinus headache.....so I'm refusing, yes REFUSING to shed tears...for now!!)